“If you drink their water, respect their customs”

I’ve seen a lot of sights and traveled many miles
Shook a thousand hands and seen my share of smiles
I’ve caused some great concern and told one too many lies
And now I see the world through these sad, old, jaded eyes.

One of the things which make me incredibly thankful for the life I have lived so far can be easily recognized in this verse of the song by Dropkick Murphys. It feels really gratifying to have the opportunity to explore the world on my own terms and expose myself to so many different places and people from incredibly diverse places.

I aim at the absolute full immersion in the local environment. I do not cut myself off in some nice resort and watch the peasants through an enormous glass wall, while some random poor person is earning their minimum wage by massaging imaginary trauma induced knots in my back. I walk through forests and cities and villages while caring little about the weather or circumstances. I eat local, made by the locals. I explore by all means available. And I always strive for more in order to feed something in me that can only be described as the genuine curiosity.

“Don’t go to the ocean with a teaspoon”, someone quoted an author in front of me, and this stuck with me since then. At first it sounded unbearably pretentious (maybe due to the person herself) but the idea is extremely applicable to everyday approach to life and it traverses time/space in a profound manner.

Stereotypes about Mongolians

I’ll skip those regular assumptions – Mongolians live in gers, there are no cities, just sheep and horses and for saying something dumb a Dothraki-style horse cavalcade will behead you while galloping – and go to the more realistic ones.

Mongolians are known to be direct. Cordial without a compromise. Curious. Supposedly harsh in a way that they easily cross the lines and go to the offensive side of conversations. They openly dislike when the tourists complain about everyday its and bits which don’t function as they expect as they are aware that traffic sucks, the UB smog is omnipresent in wintertime, everyone should count of arriving late wherever they are going to etc., because this is just the way it is. “If you drink their water, respect their ways”, a Mongolian once wrote in a serious manner. You don’t like this? Or that? There are other places to visit, don’t come and preach the locals in ways you think something should be done.

I cannot agree more.

Meat

By coming to Mongolia you are entering a society and culture which is built and it is still rotating around meat and animal products. In order to survive centuries of overwintering in the steppes and mountains, their needs could not reflect in a vegan raw diet. Expecting to come to UB, and even more, to the countryside, and demand a meatless meal is pretty unrealistic. There are vegetarian/vegan restaurants in UB but they are not in abundance. I mean, they are there, but I did not even bother finding out one, having all those traditional eateries every few meters along the Peace avenue in UB.

Mongolian meat is bred, fed and left alone in the open vast area to live exposed to the elements. The locals swear that the taste of meat is different due to the herbs available to the cattle compared to any meat anywhere else. I think that we all could fail miserably on a blind test and trying to figure out the outdoors meat and the one grown in captivity but still, let the Mongolians have it

Safety

One of the important factors while traveling is choosing a place in which I can thrive in my own indulgence of local culture and nature without nuisances. Being a 40+ woman who loves to explore solo and by foot it makes sense, right? From what I saw, Mongolia is very safe in general. If you go there, you will not be decapitated by a horsemen horde. Try to think and act beyond stereotypes and understand that we are not in the 13th century. Women are not being pestered, no one will beat you up for no reason or just because you walked by.

The biggest problems, according to the internet, are caused by pickpockets and backpack slashers. Also, I was told, if you forget your backpack with a laptop on a bench, do not expect to find it there when you return later. Luckily, I had literally no problems with any of these issues.

Generally – be aware of your surroundings, avoid shady areas, avoid small alleys during the night, be polite and non conflict inducing (which, in the end is a behavior of any socially intelligent and respectful creature) – and everything will play out in your favor.

Knowledge of the English language

I am one of those who does not rely on the idea that everyone should and can speak English and my expectations are just to be able to convey my message by any means whatsoever. I also tend to learn a few basic sentences before I travel, in order to ease a hypothetical sticky situation where something urgent is happening and need some guidance. Mongolians spent over 70 years in a relationship with the Soviet union and Russian language is thus more useful than english, especially with older generations. Youngsters, expectedly, are exposed to the internet and other modern sources which bring the english language closer so they can speak it pretty decent.

Mongolians tend to apologize a lot for their “bad” english. I am not someone who’d judge others for such stuff so I always responded that I understand everything which was said to me, and emphasized that the speaker should not worry and should just relax. I am not an english teacher and no one’s knowledge of it will be graded after the exchange about a cashmere sweater at the market.

Please, don’t come to Mongolia and bitch afterwards how “no one speaks english”, it’s up to no one to adjust to your own needs and capabilities.

Hospitality

My favorite topic.

I traveled a lot and really had a chance to be PROPERLY HUMBLED by random people who were incredibly nice to my husband and me, or me alone, just because it’s a normal thing to do. If I believed in karma and some type of cosmic debt, I would consider myself indebted for several human lives worth and would work hard to pay it off just to stay somewhat in balance. But I do not believe in karmic debt – I just try to return the favor whenever I can and I feel really good when I return the wanderer on their desired track.

Mongolians are kings and queens of hospitality, warmth, open mindedness and general niceness. It is usually explained by being rooted in their centuries long lives in the steppe, when letting someone in a ger means survival of that poor person. This reflects upon their approach to a random woman walking over steppes, desert and forests trying to find a bit of contradictory peace and challenge at the same time – I felt exceptionally welcomed and safe, comfortable and able to truly enjoy the country I visited for the first time.

Openness towards a random tourist

People were approaching me on the streets, asking where I am from, what is my name and what am I doing in Mongolia. I was surprised by how many times this occurred. I am not used to such attention (any attention, I like to blend in so I can relax and immerse properly) and my natural response was to play along – I wanted that the cordiality they emanate reflects on me and comes back to them in full shine. There were no thugs, I had no “fear” of being interrogated in order to be harmed. These were ordinary everyday people who were trying their damnedest to squeeze out basic A1 level questions in language they are unable to converse in, but mongolian cordiality and eagerness to present themselves as nice compensated for the fact we could not communicate. Body language works amazing.

Have in mind, I am not a gorgeous stunner Barbie or any sort of damsel in distress. There is no obvious or any sort of neediness coming from me, demanding attention. I rarely behave in a way that could be perceived as inviting. I mind my own damn business 500% of my time, and I get so immersed in my thoughts that I need to be drawn back to the Real World by yelling my name.

It looks as if this is just their thing.

The locals

During those 9 days in Mongolia, during which I explored the cities, the deserts, steppes and forests I have met and spoke to countless Mongolians. I usually plan my vacations with the intention to be alone as much as the circumstances allow me and that my only contact with the locals is when I descend to civilization to refill the food stash. What I’ve found there stunned me – Mongolians are so vividly direct that I ended up having a people’s fest.

My Prime directive is to leave people be and mind my own business. I rarely initiate interactions but I am still respectful enough that in case someone wants to communicate, I will easily play along. I dress extremely clean and simple (just in basic technical clothes, nothing too flashy) and I do not like to attract attention in any possible way.

I was sticking out like a sore thumb. The population is homogenous. Extremely. I stood out with european heritage reflecting on my face and was stared at the entire time. I asked one of the girls that I spoke to while going to Sainshand why am I so obviously checked out at. She said: “We cannot guess where you are from, and are curious because we cannot place you in any known country”.

Women are beautiful. There are no lip fillers, overdrawn Jafar brows, piercings covering their faces and distorting makeup. Children are amazing. Like, beyond gorgeous. Plumpy and pouty, with the most beautiful eyes you could ever imagine.

The children were very playful and came to me unprompted. I started buying sweets just to be able to deal out a few chocs when a kind comes to me. They would throw their balls at me in the railroad station, sit next to me on benches in parks, ask me something in Mongolian (then the older brother would jump in and translate the questions to english) and their moms did not mind. At all. I saw the moms, just smiling at me, and after some time we’d just separate.

Solo traveling women

To others who want to visit, especially women solo travellers – Mongolia is extremely safe. Did not feel threatened in any possible way while I was here. Not even by the pickpockets who are notorious in UB. I don’t use any public transport, I walk and I walk alone, and felt extremely comfortable with being here.

Women with babies were approaching me (I concluded that I look “safe enough” for this to be done), a pair came to me and introduced themselves to me when I was hiking to Aryabal temple, men were coming, introducing themselves on the street or in the stores, opening doors, being extremely gentleman-like. If someone wanted to show me something, that person would bring me to it, not just point a finger. I do not need that, I am entirely “in my world” and do not expect help, it was just interesting to see that.

Conclusion: Mongolians are superb hosts and I felt extremely safe and obviously in a pleasant environment, which made the whole trip to Mongolia even better than I could assume.